catgifsinthesenate:

nuinsli:

nemesisvariant:

teathattast:

i-am-committing-tax-fraud:

teathattast:

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Maurice

Maurice

Maurice

Maurice

I’m begging of you, please don’t take my man

(via drtanner)

paulgadzikowski:

believerindaydreams:

I would like to propound a semi serious theory that Jonathan is still alive because of the mirror throwing incident.

Say you’re Dracula, and you’ve hatched a plan for conquest that will involve talking to strangers, buying real estate, and wearing terrible sun hats. Only it has been several hundred years since you interacted with a guy as a guy and not as Predator Vampire Supreme.

So you invite a solicitor, make chicken, reacquaint yourself with the art of conversation, and then whoops, a little bit of blood and you just threw a shaving mirror out the window.

It’s not, like, normal.

But how not normal is it? It would be helpful to have some kind of metric for how weird you can get before the solicitor cracks and asks you what is with you, then you’ll have a baseline for how weird you can be in London.

Time to start crawling the walls lizard fashion!

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(via vickyvicarious)

monsterlets:

monsterlets:

here’s the thing about “aggressive” spiders

if a spider is running right at you, it’s not trying to pick a fight with an animal thousands of times its size. you’re so big that it didn’t recognize you as an animal at all. it thought you were part of the landscape and it’s trying to either take shelter or get to higher ground. if you don’t want it crawling on you just kinda stomp on the floor so it can realize you’re not stable ground and fuck off

like imagine if you went to climb a tree or perhaps a mountain and then it stomped

(via flerponius)

spaceshipsandpurpledrank:

knittingfolk:

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wanderingnelipot:

gaaraofsuburbia:

the fuck is this bullshit

The easy way….

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Or the hard way…

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(via squeeful)

maninbusinesssuitlevitating:

kushblazer666:

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(via flerponius)

foxes-in-love:

A comic of two foxes, one of whom is blue, the other is green. In this one, Green is walking forward with determination, deep in thought, and Blue approaches him with enthusiasm. Green, thinking: Okay, I have six things I need to remember to do. Blue: Kisses!  Blue wraps himself around Green in deep embrace, as Green looks ahead of himself in alarm. Green: Oh no, my tasks! I'll forget them!  Blue lets go of Green so the two can look at each other in the eyes. Blue: What tasks?  Green lowers his eyes, looking to some unknown distance. Green: ...I already forgot.ALT

(via flerponius)

nyonyatwelfth:

itty bitty titty committee is out BOARD MEETING is in

Tags: lmao

thestoryofaslut:

escuerzoresucitado:

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about fucking time

(via dclegs)