I would like to propound a semi serious theory that Jonathan is still alive because of the mirror throwing incident.
Say you’re Dracula, and you’ve hatched a plan for conquest that will involve talking to strangers, buying real estate, and wearing terrible sun hats. Only it has been several hundred years since you interacted with a guy as a guy and not as Predator Vampire Supreme.
So you invite a solicitor, make chicken, reacquaint yourself with the art of conversation, and then whoops, a little bit of blood and you just threw a shaving mirror out the window.
It’s not, like, normal.
But how not normal is it? It would be helpful to have some kind of metric for how weird you can get before the solicitor cracks and asks you what is with you, then you’ll have a baseline for how weird you can be in London.
if a spider is running right at you, it’s not trying to pick a fight with an animal thousands of times its size. you’re so big that it didn’t recognize you as an animal at all. it thought you were part of the landscape and it’s trying to either take shelter or get to higher ground. if you don’t want it crawling on you just kinda stomp on the floor so it can realize you’re not stable ground and fuck off
like imagine if you went to climb a tree or perhaps a mountain and then it stomped